Today, Saturday, is officially the end of the fifth week here since the accident.
Today was rough for Mom, who was frustrated for good reason. This surgery being postponed again is like a punch in the stomach --- because everything else is waiting on that. They said they will remove the trach and the chest tubes after the pelvis surgery.
The doctor said today he should only be in the hospital about a week after the pelvis surgery, and then they want to transfer him to a rehabilitation facility. This is good news - if we could only follow through with the scheduled surgery.
This going back to school stuff is hard... I know in my heart that Dad would want me to be at school, because it is something that has ALWAYS been important to him. But it truly aches me not being able to be there as much, not being able to try to keep up his spirits, which have definitely been pushed to their limits.
He was very very alert today - especially this afternoon and evening. The nurse came in to change stuff, give him medicine, ect. When she gave him a shot he was mad. It was a new thing to see such a wide eyed face of true pain in his eyes---to be expected with a shot in his abdomen. He yelped "Ow" and gave her a MEAN look --- and a sound actually came out of his throat! He actually spoke!!
So even though it was a cry of pain, it was nice to hear his voice. He is really upset about being in this hospital. REALLY mad. He is resentful I think that he can't get up... and I think he forgets sometimes why he can't leave, why all the tubes, ect. He is pretty miserable, very anxious, bored, just aggravated some of the time. He just makes these expressions like he is so discouraged, and no matter what you say you don't think you can make it better. I told him I know this stinks --- I know this situation isn't fair. He nodded in agreement with me. He is very upset about it all, and him not being able to talk and ask questions --- him being still confused some of the time, doesn't help him with giving him any comfort.
Sometimes, when I ask him questions, he rolls his eyes and says 'whatever'. It really hurts to know that he is so angry. He just doesn't understand completely at all what has happened I think. He just knows he wants out. He was desperately trying to pull all sorts of tubes out today, just being so ready to hop out of that bed. He is uncomfortable and squirms alot. Today mom told him not to pull at the tubes, and he looked at her confused and spoke the word "huh?!" really pretty loud. It was funny and it surprised us, and he was trying to tell me stuff alot of the night but it is really hard to read his lips and he gets frustrated really quickly with it.
He watched MASH tonight on the little DVD player we brought for him. I told him goodnight tonight and mom was still there.
It is like torture to leave him. He looks at you, half sad that you are leaving him, and half resentful that you get to leave and he has to stay. I hate telling him goodbye. Tonight was very emotional for me. I know that with classes officially starting on Monday morning, my time with him will be much more limited than I would like it to be. All my time will be much more limited. I am in class 8-5 every day and then get to study at night. It doesn't make it easy on me, but I will be up there to visit as much as I can.
Bare with me about the blog situation as I transition back to school. I will try my best to write to you all and keep this up to date. Karen has been a great help to me in posting updates when I wasn't able to, and I really appreciate that.
Keep praying, please. Pray for Dad's full recovery. Pray for him to be relaxed, and for him to be able to understand better what is going on and that he should get some comfort in knowing he will heal with time. Pray for my own comfort, that I will be able to balance all that is on my plate right now and still get to spend quality time with Dad. Pray huge prayers for my mom. She is getting weary of this routine, and knowing he wants out of the hospital as much as she does makes her frustrated and impatient. Comfort her, Lord, and help her to get plenty of rest so she can get through these days.
Thank you all so very much. Forgive me as some of my posts may become fewer or shorter, I will try my best to keep up with them. Thank you for the phone calls, emails, sweet cards, and all the visits. If you have time this weekend, come up and see Dad. I think he likes people to come visit, even though he does want to leave. I know he doesn't like being here , so familiar faces and voices may be a real comfort for him. If nothing else, it definitely a comfort for our family.
Today was rough for Mom, who was frustrated for good reason. This surgery being postponed again is like a punch in the stomach --- because everything else is waiting on that. They said they will remove the trach and the chest tubes after the pelvis surgery.
The doctor said today he should only be in the hospital about a week after the pelvis surgery, and then they want to transfer him to a rehabilitation facility. This is good news - if we could only follow through with the scheduled surgery.
This going back to school stuff is hard... I know in my heart that Dad would want me to be at school, because it is something that has ALWAYS been important to him. But it truly aches me not being able to be there as much, not being able to try to keep up his spirits, which have definitely been pushed to their limits.
He was very very alert today - especially this afternoon and evening. The nurse came in to change stuff, give him medicine, ect. When she gave him a shot he was mad. It was a new thing to see such a wide eyed face of true pain in his eyes---to be expected with a shot in his abdomen. He yelped "Ow" and gave her a MEAN look --- and a sound actually came out of his throat! He actually spoke!!
So even though it was a cry of pain, it was nice to hear his voice. He is really upset about being in this hospital. REALLY mad. He is resentful I think that he can't get up... and I think he forgets sometimes why he can't leave, why all the tubes, ect. He is pretty miserable, very anxious, bored, just aggravated some of the time. He just makes these expressions like he is so discouraged, and no matter what you say you don't think you can make it better. I told him I know this stinks --- I know this situation isn't fair. He nodded in agreement with me. He is very upset about it all, and him not being able to talk and ask questions --- him being still confused some of the time, doesn't help him with giving him any comfort.
Sometimes, when I ask him questions, he rolls his eyes and says 'whatever'. It really hurts to know that he is so angry. He just doesn't understand completely at all what has happened I think. He just knows he wants out. He was desperately trying to pull all sorts of tubes out today, just being so ready to hop out of that bed. He is uncomfortable and squirms alot. Today mom told him not to pull at the tubes, and he looked at her confused and spoke the word "huh?!" really pretty loud. It was funny and it surprised us, and he was trying to tell me stuff alot of the night but it is really hard to read his lips and he gets frustrated really quickly with it.
He watched MASH tonight on the little DVD player we brought for him. I told him goodnight tonight and mom was still there.
It is like torture to leave him. He looks at you, half sad that you are leaving him, and half resentful that you get to leave and he has to stay. I hate telling him goodbye. Tonight was very emotional for me. I know that with classes officially starting on Monday morning, my time with him will be much more limited than I would like it to be. All my time will be much more limited. I am in class 8-5 every day and then get to study at night. It doesn't make it easy on me, but I will be up there to visit as much as I can.
Bare with me about the blog situation as I transition back to school. I will try my best to write to you all and keep this up to date. Karen has been a great help to me in posting updates when I wasn't able to, and I really appreciate that.
Keep praying, please. Pray for Dad's full recovery. Pray for him to be relaxed, and for him to be able to understand better what is going on and that he should get some comfort in knowing he will heal with time. Pray for my own comfort, that I will be able to balance all that is on my plate right now and still get to spend quality time with Dad. Pray huge prayers for my mom. She is getting weary of this routine, and knowing he wants out of the hospital as much as she does makes her frustrated and impatient. Comfort her, Lord, and help her to get plenty of rest so she can get through these days.
Thank you all so very much. Forgive me as some of my posts may become fewer or shorter, I will try my best to keep up with them. Thank you for the phone calls, emails, sweet cards, and all the visits. If you have time this weekend, come up and see Dad. I think he likes people to come visit, even though he does want to leave. I know he doesn't like being here , so familiar faces and voices may be a real comfort for him. If nothing else, it definitely a comfort for our family.
The picture I added was from last Thanksgiving of him sleeping in the hammock. He was relaxed and had a full stomach ---so I am gonna think about that content image of him, because in it he is happy (as are most men with a full belly and a nap) and is totally relaxed!
Love you all, God Bless
Love you all, God Bless
Meg
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