Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Thoracic Tuesday...

Ha. What a dorky title I just wrote. Oh well. Anyway - went to see Dad this morning early and Aunt Lila and Lynn came to visit. The doctor was in there and told us that the thoracic (word of the day) surgeon will do surgery tomorrow on Dad's chest. They are going to go into that cavity where the infection and fluid build up is and clean it out with a fluid rinse to flush everything out of there.

The doctor also thought he might be building up a tolerance to the morphine so they increased that dose today as well.

Dad was just a snoozin away! Thank you for your continuing encouraging words and loving thoughts and prayers.

Love you all

Megan

5 comments:

Karen Bills said...

Hi,
Thanks so much for the updates. Thanks also for the pictures of your family and Mark. Wish I could be with you during the surgery. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you always.
Hugs to the family and Mark.
Love,
Karen Bills (older cousin)

Meg said...

It's 11 and I went to bed an hour ago... but I just can't sleep tonight. Today sure was a rough one for me.

I know that I have to trust that the Lord is taking care of Dad, healing him , making him as good as new. But, God it's hard when it's taking so long - and he can't even really look at you, he can't talk to you, its like this horrible nightmare.

I hate the stupid hospital. I hate it. I know he is there to get better but it sure isn't making me feel any better right now.

Lots of tears today and my mind is racing through a thousand 'what ifs' as if to torture myself. It does nothing to make the situation better, but its like this self destructive mode I am in. I am sleeping but the sleep isn't good. The days are all mushed together and I just want something more to encourage me. To remind me my Dad is gonna be okay, that he'll still act the same, tell the same funny joke about selling toothbrushes with chips and dip at the airport (if you don't know what joke I am talking about you will have to ask him about it later!)...

I'm just scared. I'm scared and I feel guilty for feeling that way. I know I have to be strong, be positive, and supportive. I am doing that most of the time, but when the day wears down on you and you don't feel like things are getting better... it's hard to keep that spirit up. I'm worn down today. I was laying in bed, just praying to God to keep on healing Dad. I know that a lot of people in this world pray for a lot of different things, but if I have ever meant anything as much as I mean my prayers about my Dad, I sure can't remember it.

Father God, please heal my dad. Hold him, comfort him, make him stronger. Let him know he's not alone. Let him know how much he's loved. I miss him so much and I sure need him. He has a wife and I have a mom that needs him. He has three daughters that need him, a son that needs him to teach him so many more things in life, parents that need him, a brother, and nieces, and nephews, and cousins, and amazing friends that need him. I know the work and plans that you have for him Lord are no where close to being done. Give us all patience as you heal him Father, because we are just anxious and scared. Help us to trust you more fully and to know full and well that he is going to be taken care of.

I am a mess right now --- I am posting this here to get all my emotions out of my head, so maybe I can sleep tonight. He's gonna be okay. I know that. My impatient redheaded ways need to change for now...

Forgive me for my dumping of emotions here...but I guess its better here than all bottled up...

goodnight.
Love meg

Meg said...

The toothbrush salesman!

My favorite of all Dad's Jokes: His variation on this is different, but the speech impediment imitation is quite a riot.

Thinking about him telling this made me smile, and I needed something to lift my spirits so I thought I would post it here.

The Toothbrush Salesman

A man walks into a toothbrush factory, and tells the owner..."Id like ta hath a job telling tootbrushes". The owner looks at him and replies..."I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but you have a serious speech impediment, and I don't see how you would be an effective salesman for this company". The man says "Pleath Just gib me a thance and Ill tho you whut I can do. The owner, thinking that he will get rid of him, tells him..."go to a salesman's school, graduate, and I'll give you a job"

A year later, the same man walks into the toothbrush factory, this time carrying a framed diploma, and declaring..."I'm theer about tha job The owner being a man of his word, gives him a job, He tells the new salesman that their best salesmen sell between 5 to 7 thousand toothbrushes a week.

The new salesman shows up the next week and sits dejectedly in the owners office, as the owner asks..."how many toothbrushes did you sell"?. The new salesman replies..."I told teven tootbrushes". The owner tells him if all he can sell is seven toothbrushes, then he will have to let him go.The new salesman pleads... "Pleath Just gib me a thance and Ill tho you whut I can do. The owner tells him that he will give him one more week.

The new salesman shows up the next week and sits in the owners office, as the owner asks..."how many toothbrushes did you sell"?. The new salesman replies..."I told thirtween thousand tootbrushes". The owners mouth drops, and he declares.."that's a new company record!!!, How did you sell that many toothbrushes?

The new salesman tells him.."come outt to tha air pirt and I'll tho ya ma thetup" The owner arrives at the airport and sees that the salesman has a big welcome sign, a big stack of toothbrushes, a big bowl of potato chips, and a big bowl of dip. The owner says..."I still dont see how you sold that man toothbrushes". The salesman tell him "twy a potato thip". the owner takes a potato chip, dips it, and takes a big bite. He immediately spits it out saying..."this tastes like shit!" New salesman replys..."ya it tis, wanna buy a tootbrush"

Janet Vincik said...

Meg,
My admiration goes out to you and your Mom for your strength during this awful time. It just seems like you get some good news to get your hopes up, only to get news of an infection or surgery needed and your hopes drop. So overwhelming, frustrating and worrisome.

I think every single person on the blog would encourage you to "vent" your anxiety as often and as much as possible. We are all here to listen because we care. It really does help to talk and so do the tears (something technical about a chemical response in one's body when you cry that helps.) Many of us on your Dad's side of the family inherited what I call the "anxiety gene" that causes us to worry all the time. It is very hard to cut back on the worrying, but maybe if you could try really hard to take just one day at a time that would help a little.

I know your Dad is so proud of his wife and each of his kids, because he always brags about y'all.

Loved the joke, thanks for putting it in the blog. As often as I have seen Mark over the years, he has never told me that one! It brought a smile to my face.

You're doing everything you can right now, being there and supporting your Mom plus keeping all of us up-to-date with the blog. Please take care of yourself and do whatever helps you to relieve the anxiety. No guilt trips if you need to get away for awhile, or do something relaxing and fun with Matt. Your Dad would be the first one to tell you the same thing.

Love, Janet (Mark's cousin)

Unknown said...

First of all AMEN to your prayer Meg we all are continuing our prayers for your Dad and family. I check the blog all during the day and even at night if I get up just in case there is something new. I also pray at these times. God doesn't want us to worry he wants us to turn everything over to Him but he also understands we are human and this is what we do sometimes, then we need to get back on track again with our prayers and trust in the Lord. Your expressing your true feelings and venting is really good for you, even though you sound like a very strong young woman, its not good to keep things bottled up inside. I know from experience that its easier to write what we are feeling than to express them out loud. (I had cancer and kept a journal and wrote down a lot of my prayers and fears) You are doing a great job, and I appreciate all of the blogs to keep us informed. God bless! Sallie, Scott & Noah Keaton Oh and I loved the joke.